Why do I still think about you? You decided you want nothing to do with me. I fear that you never liked me. Was I too naive to focus my days around you? I longed for those moments day after day. They made me happy and I finally had something to look forward to. I would tell all my friends about you because you meant the world to me. You said you did the same, but how could I tell? My friends told me not to trust you as you could be lying; I didn’t listen. I felt as if I could finally walk around with a smile on my face because I had everything and everything was you. I would stay up waiting for even just a few minutes to talk to you and hear your voice. Your voice always brought me joy. We talked to each other as if we were always going to have each other. I felt hopeful in my future because I would have you. You started to drift away because you were busy. I started to lose my happiness because I was losing everything. I tried to talk to you but it would take days for you to respond. One of those days you sent me a long message. I didn’t expect this message.
You said everything felt fake. Everything that brought me joy was just fake to you. You said it wasn’t me, but was that just a lie so I wouldn’t feel guilty? My heart sank because I did truly lose everything. I wouldn’t get those moments day after day. I had to go back to life without you. It isn’t easy. I can’t tell if I miss you or if I miss those moments. I’m sorry for wasting your time on something that was fake.
I am thankful that you have chosen UN forums to pour your heart out like that, whether this is a real life thing or a fictional scenario you picture yourself in, it doesn't really matter for what matters is what is in your heart, and truly only you will know the truth.
When we start liking someone, we give our best, even to the point of giving everything we can to possibly gain everything we can as well.
But life isn't always what we envisioned it to be. Plans don't always carry out the way it seems. People don't always come to our distress call. When we lose that source of "happines" everything seems to fall apart; everything seems to crumble and everything seem to lose it's meaning. But contrary to what we think and feel, we haven't lost everything ... yet
We still have ourselves. We have the memories that remained after the happiness has subsided. We have gained wisdom through the experience and we have learned a lesson. Everything is not lost; we are still alive, and as long as we are alive, we have the power to take every opportunity life present us to better ourselves and make new memories.
Hold on, life gets bumpy at times, but it won't last forever this way. Surely, things will get better eventually.
Keep the faith.
Thank you for sharing.