I feel ya there bud; I've been suffering from ongoing bouts of depression that resurfaces every now and then when it's triggered by certain circumstances. All I can tell you is that it eventually gets better, you just gotta keep fighting.
I've been to the depth of depression dark side kev, made a decision I live to regret that I did to this day, more scared that certain circumstances will bring me back to that place :l
If it becomes something unmanageable, I believe the best step is to go to a counselor. It helps, surprisingly. I've done it before and It's nice to be able to talk about your problems with somebody who is willing to listen and who won't judge you in doing so. It's also confidential and the counselor can help you cope with it and give you some advice on how to look at life in another perspective. Just know that you don't have to go through this alone. I've been trying to deal with my problems by myself and I figured that it's not really working so well; it just sucks me even deeper into it. Having some hobbies that helps to focus your mind away from your problems helps a lot. I took up photography about a year ago and I also write so those things help me alleviate the seemingly inescapable grasps of darkness that emanate from within me. All I can say is that, if you can battle it, depression makes you stronger. It's conqeurable, it just takes time, determination, and energy, energy that you may think you don't have for the whole goal of depression is to leave you feeling like a helpless, worthless person. But you do have it, it's somewhere in there, you just gotta take it out and let it take over. Depression will certainly come back every now and then, as it does to me; there will be times, when it's triggered, that you just want everything to end, but it won't solve anything; it'll become a permanent solution to a temporary problem, a problem that can be controlled. If it comes to the point where you ask yourself if everyone even loves or cares about you, my advice is to not even question other's love for you. At the end of the day, there is really only one person in this world who is truly capable of wholly loving yourself, and that is YOU. If you can bring yourself to LOVE yourself, you will feel a ton better. It is a lonely path, I know, but once you start loving yourself, the world ends up being not so dark. So keep fighting buddy and do you. You matter. Even if it doesn't seem like you matter to anyone at all, YOU matter to YOU. YOU loves YOU. You have been with yourself for all this time now. You believe in yourself, you thinks you can do this. The fight is long and arduous ; you will hate life; you will hate everything around you; you will hate yourself; you will think this world is the worst place in the world. But, there is one thing in this world who will never hate you despite how much you hate them, and that's you. You are the key to beating this thing, and you have the power to do so.
Habbo is like my coping mechanism for loneliness because, well yeah I feel lonely, even with a girlfriend it feels empty unless she is on, but Kev, those are wise words...I never would've thought you had depression (do correct me if I am wrong) because of how bubbly and happy your sound when you are online man, but I can see that we do have something in common, I hope to use what you said in that long message as strategies to prevent me from causing harm to the people who do love me, and most importantly, to try combat my personal demons, thank you
People don't always seem to be what they really are. I've learned that a long time ago. Yes, I'd say I've been depressed. I'd say I still even suffer from it every now and then. I have had counseling which has been very helpful and I have a really good relationship with my doctor. He's been helping me see things differently every time we meet. You could say that my outward occasional happiness is my defense mechanism. My doctor told me that to combat my depression, I should stop focusing on my needs and try to focus more on how I can help others. I've always had the worst self-esteem in the world. I always ask questions such as, "why doesn't she like me?" "why can't I do this?" "why does my life suck so bad?" "how come he has a girlfriend and I don't?" My doctor laughed and said, "Kevin, you should worry less about yourself and worry more about how you can improve other people's lives." My first reaction was, "How the hell is this supposed to make me feel better about myself?" Believe me, I still struggle trying to follow this advice. Basically, my doctor said that if I try to make others feel like they're loved, they'd be more willing to reciprocate. Surprisingly, the more I try to approach life with this mentality, the more fruitful it seems to become; It actually works. Instead of me sitting there by myself waiting for someone to notice me, actually approaching someone with a hearty hello seems to bear good results. Now, I won't say I'm a master at this. I'm shy and insecure af and this simple action is something I constantly work on daily; however, I've managed to make some connections doing so.
I'm not ashamed to say I'm damaged. I'm not a perfect being. I'm far from perfect. I believe that all a person can really do is try. Not every relationship will be perfect. Not everyone will accept you for who you are. You will be misunderstood, you will be judged, you will make friends, you will have haters. Tis is the cycle of life; the ineivitable turning of fate. I'm just glad that I'm still alive; I'm glad I never gave up. Life is a rocky patch with smooth roads in between, you just gotta learn to enjoy the ride. Aaron, I know you're a great person. From the interactions I've had with you, even if it's only through fleeting online conversations, I know you're a person with a great heart. I believe that all depressed people have great hearts; I believe that they all deserve the chance to be happy, be loved, and feel accepted. Don't be ashamed of yourself and what you have. Own it, wear it, control it, subdue it, and conquer it. If it doesn't want to be conquered, utilize it to your advantage. I don't know if you watch Naruto but there's only one analogy that I can think of. Depression is like the nine tailed fox and you're the dang Jinchuriki. Use its power for good and better yourself because of it. You don't let it control you; you control it.
D:
I feel ya there bud; I've been suffering from ongoing bouts of depression that resurfaces every now and then when it's triggered by certain circumstances. All I can tell you is that it eventually gets better, you just gotta keep fighting.
I've been to the depth of depression dark side kev, made a decision I live to regret that I did to this day, more scared that certain circumstances will bring me back to that place :l
If it becomes something unmanageable, I believe the best step is to go to a counselor. It helps, surprisingly. I've done it before and It's nice to be able to talk about your problems with somebody who is willing to listen and who won't judge you in doing so. It's also confidential and the counselor can help you cope with it and give you some advice on how to look at life in another perspective. Just know that you don't have to go through this alone. I've been trying to deal with my problems by myself and I figured that it's not really working so well; it just sucks me even deeper into it. Having some hobbies that helps to focus your mind away from your problems helps a lot. I took up photography about a year ago and I also write so those things help me alleviate the seemingly inescapable grasps of darkness that emanate from within me. All I can say is that, if you can battle it, depression makes you stronger. It's conqeurable, it just takes time, determination, and energy, energy that you may think you don't have for the whole goal of depression is to leave you feeling like a helpless, worthless person. But you do have it, it's somewhere in there, you just gotta take it out and let it take over. Depression will certainly come back every now and then, as it does to me; there will be times, when it's triggered, that you just want everything to end, but it won't solve anything; it'll become a permanent solution to a temporary problem, a problem that can be controlled. If it comes to the point where you ask yourself if everyone even loves or cares about you, my advice is to not even question other's love for you. At the end of the day, there is really only one person in this world who is truly capable of wholly loving yourself, and that is YOU. If you can bring yourself to LOVE yourself, you will feel a ton better. It is a lonely path, I know, but once you start loving yourself, the world ends up being not so dark. So keep fighting buddy and do you. You matter. Even if it doesn't seem like you matter to anyone at all, YOU matter to YOU. YOU loves YOU. You have been with yourself for all this time now. You believe in yourself, you thinks you can do this. The fight is long and arduous ; you will hate life; you will hate everything around you; you will hate yourself; you will think this world is the worst place in the world. But, there is one thing in this world who will never hate you despite how much you hate them, and that's you. You are the key to beating this thing, and you have the power to do so.
Habbo is like my coping mechanism for loneliness because, well yeah I feel lonely, even with a girlfriend it feels empty unless she is on, but Kev, those are wise words...I never would've thought you had depression (do correct me if I am wrong) because of how bubbly and happy your sound when you are online man, but I can see that we do have something in common, I hope to use what you said in that long message as strategies to prevent me from causing harm to the people who do love me, and most importantly, to try combat my personal demons, thank you
People don't always seem to be what they really are. I've learned that a long time ago. Yes, I'd say I've been depressed. I'd say I still even suffer from it every now and then. I have had counseling which has been very helpful and I have a really good relationship with my doctor. He's been helping me see things differently every time we meet. You could say that my outward occasional happiness is my defense mechanism. My doctor told me that to combat my depression, I should stop focusing on my needs and try to focus more on how I can help others. I've always had the worst self-esteem in the world. I always ask questions such as, "why doesn't she like me?" "why can't I do this?" "why does my life suck so bad?" "how come he has a girlfriend and I don't?" My doctor laughed and said, "Kevin, you should worry less about yourself and worry more about how you can improve other people's lives." My first reaction was, "How the hell is this supposed to make me feel better about myself?" Believe me, I still struggle trying to follow this advice. Basically, my doctor said that if I try to make others feel like they're loved, they'd be more willing to reciprocate. Surprisingly, the more I try to approach life with this mentality, the more fruitful it seems to become; It actually works. Instead of me sitting there by myself waiting for someone to notice me, actually approaching someone with a hearty hello seems to bear good results. Now, I won't say I'm a master at this. I'm shy and insecure af and this simple action is something I constantly work on daily; however, I've managed to make some connections doing so.
I'm not ashamed to say I'm damaged. I'm not a perfect being. I'm far from perfect. I believe that all a person can really do is try. Not every relationship will be perfect. Not everyone will accept you for who you are. You will be misunderstood, you will be judged, you will make friends, you will have haters. Tis is the cycle of life; the ineivitable turning of fate. I'm just glad that I'm still alive; I'm glad I never gave up. Life is a rocky patch with smooth roads in between, you just gotta learn to enjoy the ride. Aaron, I know you're a great person. From the interactions I've had with you, even if it's only through fleeting online conversations, I know you're a person with a great heart. I believe that all depressed people have great hearts; I believe that they all deserve the chance to be happy, be loved, and feel accepted. Don't be ashamed of yourself and what you have. Own it, wear it, control it, subdue it, and conquer it. If it doesn't want to be conquered, utilize it to your advantage. I don't know if you watch Naruto but there's only one analogy that I can think of. Depression is like the nine tailed fox and you're the dang Jinchuriki. Use its power for good and better yourself because of it. You don't let it control you; you control it.
Kevin, that is so wise....man, I can't thank you enough for the motivation this has given me to actually take control man...thanks :)
No problem man! Glad I could help :)