[DOF] The Art Of Letting Go

The Art Of Letting Go
by Lavanders_blue

It happens to everyone.  It happens to all of us, one way or the other we are bound to experience having our hearts broken by the people we love. It is something we do not hope to encounter, but ironically do. We meet someone who fits into our world, we spend every minute possible with them, share everything imaginable together. Then it starts to happen. Something changes, someone falls short, someone expects a little more, someone feels neglected, someone feels suffocated, someone gives up, and everyone gets hurt.

I have experienced a couple of breakups in the past 4 years, the first relationship lasted almost 3 years, the recent one was only a few months old; but neither breakup was easier than the other. It took me a year to get over the first mainly because it was the first time I have experienced that kind of relationship which lasted that long. Then the recent one happened. I found myself listening to sad songs once more, trying to picking up the pieces again, mending my heart all over again.  On both failed relationships, (I forgot to mention, they are both long distance relationships) there was no involvement of a third party. We did not argue about anything, in fact on both occasions, I understood perfectly why they had to leave.  One had to simply move on and see what else is out there for him; the other just had to go and  find himself.  The first month after each breakup was the worst. The struggle was real, the pain was excruciating, getting through each day was unimaginable. But the world never stops turning, the days become nights and life continues.So how did I manage to continue with my life?  Let me share with you what I have learned about the art of letting go and eventually moving on.

Mourn. In all honesty, that is exactly what you will be doing immediately after the breakup.  It includes crying, locking yourself up in your room, isolating yourself from the rest of the world, listening to every single breakup playlist you could find. For the masculine gender, it would probably inclue drinking and all that. At that specific moment, nobody else knows exactly how you are feeling, only you do, so allow yourself to acknowledge the emptiness inside you, it is okay to feel what you are feeling. BUT if you are drinking, please do not over do it.

Love yourself. It consists of knowing what faults you may have contributed to the end of the relationship. It is finding out what needs to be changed, what needs to be improved,  Pamper yourself with a facial, a scrub, a massage, manicure, pedicure, get your hair done, get fit, be healthy. Be in good company, with friends and family who can surround you with their love and presence. By the way, soaking your liver with alcohol is not loving yourself.  

Learn to forgive. It might be his fault, it might be your fault, or maybe it is both your fault. Whoever it is, forgive; even if an apology was never offered, forgive, for your sake and sanity. Do not hold on to grudges, it only makes you ugly inside and out.

Be thankful. No matter how bad the breakup was, surely there was a point in your togetherness that gave you utmost happiness. Treasure the memories. Be thankful for the opportunity given to you to love and be loved in return, despite your flaws and shortcomings. 

Let go. Accept the fact that it is over. It is over. You have done your best, the other knows they gave theirs as well. Perhaps at that specific time, you are not what the other needs. It is their right to find what will make them happy; and if you truly love the other you would want what is best for them, you would want their happiness, even if it does not include you.

Life will get better, sooner or later it will. You will miss them less, cry a little less than yesterday, actively think about them less today; until you find yourself just smiling at the memory of it all and once you are able to tell your story without shedding a tear, that is the time you know you are healed and have mastered the art of letting go.

Song feature:

Learning The Art Of Letting Go
Mikaila

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUGMWwWiKac