{DOF} Especially For Someone Special

Especially For Someone Special
by: Lavanders_blue

I grew up in an extended family, meaning there is me, my brother, my father and mother, my father's parents and my father's unwed sister.  It is pretty much a common thing in Filipino households that I did not really think it was unusual while I was growing up.  My father's unwed sister is a teacher by profession, a special education teacher for the blind, in particular.  Because of that I was early on exposed to the realities of what having "special needs" actually means, both for the child who has it and his/her parents as well. 

That exposure deepened when I decided to do my highschool thesis about it.  For research purposes, I observed my aunt at her workplace along with her co-teachers.  My first subject was Mark*.  He is a high functioning autistic boy.  By high functioning, it means they excel in certain fields, like math for example.  He has a thing for jigsaw puzzles.  One thing he loves to do is to get five (5) boxes of 200 pcs jigsaw puzzles each box, open all five boxes and mix everything up into one pile.  He would then stare at the pile and he would take one piece put it on top of the table, facing down. He would take another piece, put it on the table facing down again, until I realized, the first 5 pieces he took are actually one from each of the boxes. But that is not all. Aside from all the pieces he puts down are facing down, meaning you can not see drawing or the image of the puzzle. as I watched him further I realized the first 5 pieces he put down on the table are the "center" piece of each of the puzzles, working his way from the middle outwards (unlike most of us who look for the corners first and then try each piece to see where that one goes).  Another thing is, I noticed as I watched him, that the next piece he touched or got from the pile is always the piece that goes right beside the ones he already has, unlike most of us who "try and fit" all the pieces to see which one goes where. It took him less than 20 minutes to complete all 5 puzzles and to me it was an amazing thing to watch. There were other kids there who had multiple disabilities, one was deaf-mute-blind (she can not see, hear nor speak). Others were physically handicapped and needed more assistance.

But like most kids with special needs, not everyone understoond nor accepted Mark*.  One day during my "observation" period at the school, my aunt learned that Mark's uncle placed a hot flat iron on Mark's face just because he dropped his  uncle's mobile phone in the toilet and tried to flush it.  I could only cry imagining how excruciating the pain must have been for him.

Today I went to meet up with my friend, now based in Canada, who flew in for a short vacation together with her autistic son.  We ate at a Japanese restaurant and her son used chopsticks but did not really know how to use it properly and people sitting beside our table would stare and shake their heads and mumble words.  I knew they were not talking about him in a positive way, like a lot of the people here.  As we walked around the mall, he struggled going down an escalator, my friend had to go back up a couple of times to assist her son and a few people made unnecessary comments in Filipino which translated to an irate tone of "OMG, why not take the stairs instead, he's just holding up the line".  While we were shopping for toys, we heard a boy throwing a tantrum and  his mother could only do what she can, there was a man probably in his early 40's standing near me who sighed and said in Filipino which means "you should pour water over him, that way he stops yelling".

It is sad.

It is sad that are still those who think that people/kids with special needs should only be kept in the comfort of their homes.  It is sad that there are still people who do not understand that it is not the fault of the kid nor the parent.  That most parents who have kids with special needs are really just doing what they can do and that everyday is a struggle for them. 

My heart breaks when people use the word, or refer to them as "retarded" or "retards", I guess most people will never fully understand what it is like, unless you have children or you are part of a family with a child with special needs. But come to think of it, if only people found kindness and compassion in their hearts, then things would be a lot different.

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched; they must be felt with the heart.
~ Helen Keller

*Mark is not his real name.